Things Only New Comers To Derby Would Understand


1) That Guy That Walks Everywhere Backwards

If you've been in Derby for more than a month and you have no idea who I'm talking about then why don't you try going to Derby City Centre LITERALLY ANYTIME. This guy walks backwards around town all day writing mysterious notes into his notebook. No one knows why he does this and he refused to talk to anyone that asks. He's become a kind of celebrity to Derbadians. 

2) Stab Alley Behind Sir Peter Hilton Court

If you're a student then you will know exactly what I'm talking about here. Between Sir Peter Hilton Court and Darley Bank is an alley that runs past the river. Walking down this alone at night would earn you some major respect from me. You'll also happen to come across stoner bridge next to Peter Hilton. I'll let you guys find out about that for yourselves.

3) Being Shit Scared Of The Hairy Dog Yet Always Manager To End Up There On A Night Out

If you've ever been into the Hairy Dog even remotely sober and actually felt safe then who even are you? I was stone cold sober the first time I went in here and had to stay alert at all times just so I didn't get attacked or something. No matter how much you bad mouth this place though you always seem to end up back there since it stays open late most of the week. Expensive drinks and a pool of piss in the bathroom make for a much needed shot or 2.

4) Playing 'Dodge The Clipboards' On St. Peters Street

Look, all I wanted was a crap ton of McNuggets to quench the sadness ans street of uni work. No I do not want to talk to you about our lord and saviour, nor do I want to buy a wristband for £20 then feel bad whenever I say no. It takes almost twice as long to walk down this road than it should since you have to zigzag side to side just to avoid human contact.

5) Having To Decide Between Mosh And Walkabout When Both Are Equally Shite

So where are we off tonight guys? Mosh? Walkabout? Nah. Then where else? Oh...better be Mosh then. You better hold onto your shoes in mosh cause it seems like the floor is trying to mug you most of the time you're there. Nailing them to your feet should do the trick. Fair enough you can get free shots from there but the options are so weak you might as well ask for a shot of orange squash.

6) Wondering Where The Poultry Based Pet Names Came From

You go for you first shop since moving to Derby. You're next in line. The checkout lady looks over to and that's when she says it... "Ayup Duck". Duck... Did I just get called a duck? Since when has Duck been a nice name to call someone? I mean yeah ducks existed before I came to uni but I just thought they were animals that you could rarely afford from the Chinese and then they started disappearing from the local river. No words of a lie, this really throws me off still to this day.

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